I had trouble sleeping last night. I have not had trouble sleeping in quite a while. When I read my old blog I am reminded of how little I was sleeping at the time. I would go days without getting any REM sleep, just light resting. I was using mass amounts of caffeine, both liquid and pill form. I was also using Xanax in order to sleep, something that I rarely do now.
The lack of sleep was for two reasons:
1. I cannot stop thinking about escorts, all of them. Not just the one's that I have been with, but a few that I have now been with. I keep wanting to make a call and get with these new girls, the current legal climate here is the only thing making me think twice. I am sure that it is safe but the last thing I need is legal trouble.
2. I cannot stop thinking of porn. I will admit it has gotten out of control lately. I even got a new router at my house, one with parental controls. I had my wife set the password for the parental controls so I cannot change it when I get the urge. Unfortunately there are still some sites that the blocker does not block, and a couple of them are the one's that I specifically wanted blocked. Also Tumblr works just fine and I have been using that again...a little too much.
Sometimes if I masturbate then I will fall asleep, last night it only made me more horny. I think I know the reason. Lately I have taken to reading erotic stories when I lay down to sleep. My wife thinks I am reading news blogs or Facebook, however I am on XNXX. I link through my phone to bypass the router security...which begs the question, why did I set up the router security in the first place?
So, when I read the stories I get horny and I masturbate, however, I don't want my wife to know that I am masturbating so I do it really slowly without moving the bed. It takes a lot longer to get fully stimulated, sometimes an hour will pass. When I do cum the orgasm is unlike a fast and furious fap. It starts at my toes, my legs go stiff, my hair tingles and chills run down my back. I have to be as still as possible as this is overtaking me and I also cannot breath too deeply so it is like I am being suffocated.
This feeling stays for about 30 seconds because I can't just fap faster due to undesired bed jiggling, my hand just slowly squeezes and brushed the head of my cock. When the cum starts to pulse it feels like the muscles start squeezing in my back. They are slow and powerful, the first few spurts are the best landing on my chest and abdomen. I continue to pull, squeeze and rub as spurt after spurt releases down my cock. Even after I am done I keep my hand moving until my cock starts to go soft. A few time I have stayed hard and 30 minutes later I am cumming again. Whenever I do this I clean up quietly and go right to sleep.
Last night I was only using my imagination and I did not want to be up too late doing the slow fap. I got up and walked to the bathroom and did a quick jerk. In the end it only made me more awake and my cock way to sensitive. I sleep in the nude with a pillow between my legs, if my cock is sensitive it will rub on the pillow and I find myself uncomfortably humping it all night long. Pajama pants tend to do the same.
The last issue last night was my legs feeling "hot" and when the blanket was off they were "cold". I think I know the reason for this. My new workout that I started a few weeks ago focus a lot on legs. I am in the process of trying to get big...large muscles. In the past whenever I work out I have always focused on losing weight and lots of cardio. I also eat less to try and slim down. While it works great I eventually get hungry and I look too skinny. I have never been "big" so I want to experience it before my age makes it impossible...or at least impractical.
I am excited to see the results of my workout, one of the biggest things I am waiting for, the little "bulge" around my cock that makes me look fat (it is really small but I can see it). It also makes my cock smaller (I am sure of it). When I take cock shots and naked pictures that I all I see and I hate it.
I may be having sex at lunch so maybe I will sleep better tonight. Cheers.
